Boy/Girl Thing - Doctor Who
Jan. 2nd, 2008 09:14 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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randomsushiWhile investigating a crashed spaceship, Zoe plays with a mysterious machine and accidently turns Jamie into a girl.
Fifteen minutes later, Zoe, the Doctor and two members of the crew were gazing at a stack of paperwork that contained details of all the repair work.
“Oh dear me, this isn’t right at all,” the Doctor lamented, flicking through several pages at top speed. “This biogenetic alteration circuit is in completely the wrong place! And as for that genome decoder programme…”
“It’s not really my field,” Bob, the crew’s repairman said defensively. “I’m trained to fix engines. Tracie’s the one with the Astrobiocomputing degree.”
The Doctor and Zoe turned to look at Tracie, who seemed utterly unconcerned with the terraforming machine and far more interested in Jamie’s kilt.
“…Love your skirt,” they heard her compliment. “Where did you get it?”
Jamie didn’t bother correcting her. “Scotland.”
“Is that in the Mall Of Saturn?”
“Trace!” Bob shouted, looking peeved. He nodded at the damaged machine. “Work!”
“Yeah, all right,” Tracie snapped, pulling a face at him. She tuned and rolled her eyes comradely at Jamie. “Men, huh?”
“Ay, right,” Jamie said uncomfortably. She hurried to the Doctor’s side and pretended to read one of the repair logs. “So Doctor, what exactly does this terrible machine do?” she asked after a few seconds, leaning over his shoulder to sneak a peek at his report.
“Terraform,” the Doctor corrected. “It… well, it terraforms.” Jamie looked blankly at him, so he elaborated. “It converts the environment of alien planets to make them more like the Earth, so human beings can live there.”
Jamie’s face brightened in understanding. “Oh, I see! Like a computer of those seed pods t’ Ice Warriors sent to Earth to take away the air?”
“Yes, that’s exactly it!” The Doctor smiled proudly. “Of course, it’s a bit more sophisticated than that. The colonists can bring samples of things from Earth with them, but they have a limited amount of space. This machine allows them to clone things so that there’s enough to spread across the whole planet. Of course, it can be very dangerous if something goes wrong…” He trailed off, engrossed in the repair reports.
Except he found himself reading the same line over and over as Jamie perched on the edge of the machine and swung her legs back and forth, making the kilt swish with each movement. He dragged his eyes away and found himself looking at Bob, who had stopped reading and was gazing, slack-jawed at the girl. “Have you found the documentation on the reversal of the polarity of the neutron flow yet?” he asked pointedly.
Bob blinked and refocused. “Huh? Oh. Hang on, it’s here somewhere…” He reached blindly for the stack of paper next to him and knocked it all flying.
The Doctor groaned and rubbed his face wearily. “What about you, Zoe?”
“This cell manipulator processor is completely wrong, but I think I can fix it,” she said cheerfully, waving a piece of paper at him.
“You think?” Jamie asked suspiciously.
“I know,” she corrected. “It’ll take a while though, I need to break down the computer code and find out exactly where those idiots have botched it up.” She reached over and patted Jamie on the arm. “Don’t worry, you’ll have your testosterone back in now time.”
Jamie frowned. “Testosterone?”
Zoe waved him away. “It’s a man thing. Ask the Doctor.”
Jamie turned and looked curiously at the Doctor. “Is it-?”
“No. It’s a chemical thing,” the Doctor interrupted, turning slightly pink. “I’ll explain it another time.”
“So what do I have now instead then?” Jamie asked in interest.
“Oestrogen,” the Doctor said, trying to concentrate. Somehow, it was very difficult to do so with Jamie hanging over his shoulder, asking questions.
“And that’s a girl chemical thing? Is that what makes them talk in riddles and scream? Ow!”
Zoe swatted her over the head. “It’s a hormone. For the menstrual cycle.”
“And that’s…?”
Zoe pretended to be deaf so Jamie looked inquisitively at the Doctor, who turned even pinker. “Oh. Dear. Um, I’ll give you a book when we get back to the TARDIS. It’s very complicated. And I do need to concentrate,” he added, hoping Jamie would get the hint.
Jamie looked down at herself in interest. “Oh aye? Are there any other girl things-“
“Why don’t you go and see if the captain can find us somewhere to sleep tonight?” the Doctor interrupted hastily. “It looks like it could take a while to fix this.”
Jamie nodded and jumped off of the console, kilt swishing, and Bob nearly stabbed himself in the hand with a screwdriver.
Fifteen minutes later, Zoe, the Doctor and two members of the crew were gazing at a stack of paperwork that contained details of all the repair work.
“Oh dear me, this isn’t right at all,” the Doctor lamented, flicking through several pages at top speed. “This biogenetic alteration circuit is in completely the wrong place! And as for that genome decoder programme…”
“It’s not really my field,” Bob, the crew’s repairman said defensively. “I’m trained to fix engines. Tracie’s the one with the Astrobiocomputing degree.”
The Doctor and Zoe turned to look at Tracie, who seemed utterly unconcerned with the terraforming machine and far more interested in Jamie’s kilt.
“…Love your skirt,” they heard her compliment. “Where did you get it?”
Jamie didn’t bother correcting her. “Scotland.”
“Is that in the Mall Of Saturn?”
“Trace!” Bob shouted, looking peeved. He nodded at the damaged machine. “Work!”
“Yeah, all right,” Tracie snapped, pulling a face at him. She tuned and rolled her eyes comradely at Jamie. “Men, huh?”
“Ay, right,” Jamie said uncomfortably. She hurried to the Doctor’s side and pretended to read one of the repair logs. “So Doctor, what exactly does this terrible machine do?” she asked after a few seconds, leaning over his shoulder to sneak a peek at his report.
“Terraform,” the Doctor corrected. “It… well, it terraforms.” Jamie looked blankly at him, so he elaborated. “It converts the environment of alien planets to make them more like the Earth, so human beings can live there.”
Jamie’s face brightened in understanding. “Oh, I see! Like a computer of those seed pods t’ Ice Warriors sent to Earth to take away the air?”
“Yes, that’s exactly it!” The Doctor smiled proudly. “Of course, it’s a bit more sophisticated than that. The colonists can bring samples of things from Earth with them, but they have a limited amount of space. This machine allows them to clone things so that there’s enough to spread across the whole planet. Of course, it can be very dangerous if something goes wrong…” He trailed off, engrossed in the repair reports.
Except he found himself reading the same line over and over as Jamie perched on the edge of the machine and swung her legs back and forth, making the kilt swish with each movement. He dragged his eyes away and found himself looking at Bob, who had stopped reading and was gazing, slack-jawed at the girl. “Have you found the documentation on the reversal of the polarity of the neutron flow yet?” he asked pointedly.
Bob blinked and refocused. “Huh? Oh. Hang on, it’s here somewhere…” He reached blindly for the stack of paper next to him and knocked it all flying.
The Doctor groaned and rubbed his face wearily. “What about you, Zoe?”
“This cell manipulator processor is completely wrong, but I think I can fix it,” she said cheerfully, waving a piece of paper at him.
“You think?” Jamie asked suspiciously.
“I know,” she corrected. “It’ll take a while though, I need to break down the computer code and find out exactly where those idiots have botched it up.” She reached over and patted Jamie on the arm. “Don’t worry, you’ll have your testosterone back in now time.”
Jamie frowned. “Testosterone?”
Zoe waved him away. “It’s a man thing. Ask the Doctor.”
Jamie turned and looked curiously at the Doctor. “Is it-?”
“No. It’s a chemical thing,” the Doctor interrupted, turning slightly pink. “I’ll explain it another time.”
“So what do I have now instead then?” Jamie asked in interest.
“Oestrogen,” the Doctor said, trying to concentrate. Somehow, it was very difficult to do so with Jamie hanging over his shoulder, asking questions.
“And that’s a girl chemical thing? Is that what makes them talk in riddles and scream? Ow!”
Zoe swatted her over the head. “It’s a hormone. For the menstrual cycle.”
“And that’s…?”
Zoe pretended to be deaf so Jamie looked inquisitively at the Doctor, who turned even pinker. “Oh. Dear. Um, I’ll give you a book when we get back to the TARDIS. It’s very complicated. And I do need to concentrate,” he added, hoping Jamie would get the hint.
Jamie looked down at herself in interest. “Oh aye? Are there any other girl things-“
“Why don’t you go and see if the captain can find us somewhere to sleep tonight?” the Doctor interrupted hastily. “It looks like it could take a while to fix this.”
Jamie nodded and jumped off of the console, kilt swishing, and Bob nearly stabbed himself in the hand with a screwdriver.
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