randomsushi | Global Legacy 3.6 (Reply)

Happy new year, happy new update!

So I played all the children through college and moved them into houses of their own. As you can see, Lithia's relationships with his siblings didn't improve one little bit during that time, which sucks for everyone because I'm not moving him into a house of his own.

But enough about those guys! All you need to know is that they all graduated from college, sending Liet into Perma-Plat II.

Straight away, I'm greeted with Russia's blue scarf of bork, which should not be happening because I added the missing group back to the accessory mesh.

Russia: Boohoo, it's a horrible shade of blue as well.
Lithuania: I dunno, I think you'd look pretty hot wearing nothing but the scarf.

So. The challenge. This week, it was to replace all the chairs and beds with the comfiest ones in the catalogue. I decided not to use CC beds for this because it turns out that altering the numbers for comfort and energy doesn't actually make a bed any comfier if you cloned it from a cheapo crappy one and I wanted to be really sure I was getting proper comfy. This means all the beds are now doubles because they're more comfortable than the singles.

Lithuania: I'm sure looking forward to being able to sleep in that new, comfy bed tonight.
Yeah, so it'd be a shame if you accidentally set yourself on fire or something.
Liet: Good thing I have ten cooking points then.

Ten cooking points doesn't help a failing memory though.
Liet: Hmm? What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of the RC car you commanded me to play with.

Lithuania: I HATE YOOOOOU!

France: Sounds like he burned dinner.
Russia: Should we help him?
France: I'm sure he'll be fine.

I'm sure he cares.

Lithuania turns out to be pretty damn fireproof, dancing around the flames as the kitchen burns down around him.

So I told him to walk to the other side of the room.

Bye Liet! You were fun to play, but it's time to move on.
Lithuania: You're a terrible person and I'll haunt you forever.

Grim: I've got 99 piles of ash here and one of them's you.

Latvia: Hey, everyone, I just achieved my lifelong dream! This is the greatest day of my life! So, did anything exciting happen while I was at work?
You inherited some businesses and a holiday home. Congratulations.

EXCUSE ME, I THINK YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.

England: borkborkborkbork.
Shut up, nobody asked you.

And so Liet joins his previous-wife and her previous-husband out in the mausoleum. But don't worry, as you all know, the dead don't rest quietly in this game.

Mmm, voodoo doll for lunch. I had moveobjects on when I was cleaning out Liet's inventory and accidentally put Mr Mickles in the bowl.

I wasn't paying attention and England got old.

So did Seychelles. Considering that they're moochers and I mostly let them fend for themselves, I'm quite surprised they've survived.

I'm even more surprised that England grew up happy.

Latvia: Hi kids! Just wanted to let you know your other dad died and I'm eternally happ-no, of course I'm not happy because he's dead, he just happened to die on the greatest day of my life-hello? Hello?

England: This room is disgusting.
You could clean it up? You have tons of neat points, after all.
England: But how can I be sure none of those are dead person ashes?

So instead he decided to use the exercise bike. For hours.

Yay. Jog to your bed, Iggy.

Russia: So... much... rubbish...
France: I know! And we're imprisoned by it all.

Eventually Seychelles and Russia quit whining and cleaned up the mess while France took advantage of the newly cleared space and drove the RC car around them.

Quite a few people rolled a want for it, and I was bored, so I sent the household on holiday so I could do some more with the challenge. Comfy chairs for everyone!

Is that it? Is that all you're gonna do? Sit there all day?
Latvia: Yeah. This chair's really comfortable.

So yeah, most of the holiday was spent sitting in comfy chairs, playing mah-jong.

Seychelles threw her hip out or something and decided to sponge bath instead of climbing the stairs.

PJ Fishing party!

France: Oh yeah, that totally reminds me, I forgot to beat up England this week.

England: I may be 90 years old, but I can still kick your froggy arse!

I decided England would be better occupied with more recreational fighting and told him and Seychelles to duke it out.

Seychelles: BEEEEES! +500

Alas, despite the pillow fight, their friendship hasn't ever really recovered since that mistletoe kiss.

Russia got old.
Russia: How do I look?
Well, your scarf isn't blue, which is always a bonus.

He rolled a want for kisses, so I let him wish for love.

France: England made a what?
A cleanbot! It cleans things! Unless it goes wrong, in which case it spits dirty plates all over the place, but I'm sure that'll never be an issue or anything.

England: TAKE HER BACK, WE DON'T WANT HER!

And here's the cleanbot in action. Isn't is cute? It has allergies and sneezes in spring but I like to think that's the dust getting up its... nose? Nozzle?

Was getting bored again so I decided to take the moochers to a lot on an outing, which was stupid because I should've learned by now that I can't take England and France anywhere.

They did eventually join the fishing party.

You're not invited next time.
And then the game crashed.

When I got back, the outing was still in progress and England seemed genuinely remorseful about his bad behaviour, so I let him stay in the group.

Seychelles: Hasn't the weather been-
France: Ugh, must you talk about the weather? That's such an English topic of conversation.
England: ...I'm not going to respond to that.

Yay!

So. On with the legacy part of the legacy. Now that Lithuania's dead, Latvia needs to remarry ASAP. So I brought a crystal ball and decided I'd invite over his top five matches and see what happened. First up is Bulgaria, who isn't interested in flirting among the elephants.

Latvia: OK, but really, are you sure you don't wanna be part of my world?
Bulgaria: Eh, I dunno. I'll consider it.

France got old.

GODDAM IT I FIXED THAT I KNOW I FIXED IT WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?

I have to admit, it's kind of cute that Latvia actually wants to call his kids up for a chat. It would be even nicer still if calling them didn't make the game crash.

Prussia: What the fuck is this?
Oh. Yeah. Well, it turns out that not only can England make cleanbots, but he can also make security robots that stop people stealing our gnomes and newspapers.

Prussia: Yeeek!

Sadly, by this point, the game was getting very buggy and crashy. I did some testing and pulled some CC, and eventually deduced that the lot was getting fucked up... so I moved everyone out, along with the tombstones and paintings, bulldozed the lot and moved everyone into a new place. And as you can see, nothing else at all has changed, England and France still fight like rival football supporters and Russia's scarf WHICH IS FIXED I KNOW I FIXED IT is still fucking BROKEN DESPITE BEING FIXED.

So, the new house. It's big and red and has comfy chairs and beds. Turns out I did I lot more with this challenge than I anticipated.

Alas, I missed the moment when this happened.

I told England to give Seychelles a friendly hug and she was all "ew go away loser." I keep trying to repair things between them, but they've lost their BFF status now. I give up.
England: Fucking France.

OK, the loungers aren't the comfiest ones, but they're part of a matching set and I couldn't resist.
Russia: Still comfy. Wait, maybe I'd better check the other one too.

Russia: Yep, still comfy.

Canada came home with Latvia and kindly checked to make sure the pool worked.

Seychelles, you're like, 93 years old, should you be doing that?
Seychelles: HELL YEAH!

Wow, she's actually pretty good.

In more disturbing news, since Liet died, Latvia's started coming on to Russia, of all people. Russia isn't having any of it.
Latvia: Hey, you're actually pretty cute. Want a kiss?
Russia: What the hell!? No!
Seychelles: Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Time for the crystal ball again. I forgot about that plan in all the crashing, but Latvia had a free weekend, so I spirited Bulgaria over again.

Oooh, a free sample, cool.

Latvia: So while you're giving away stuff, can I have a free sample of your balls?
Bulgaria: Excuse me?

Latvia: What I'm saying, is I'd really like to-
Yeah, I think we all understood you the first time.

Bulgaria had a good time, but I kicked him out straight afterwards for the next date.

Which was Canada.

Yay, more networking rewards.

Sadly Latvia pretty much forgot Canada was there and spent the entire date playing on his games console. I feel for you, Canada, I've had dates like that too.

Oh well. Moving on to Hong Kong, who apparently likes what he sees.

Hong Kong: So what do you want to do, sexy thing?
Latvia: Could you move out of the way? You're blocking the screen and I've got clowns to kill.

Ugh, Latvia, you're a terrible date.

Hi Ireland. Like the new place?
Ireland: Meh.
Wanna kill anyone? I'd be fine with that.
Ireland: Oh, it'd make you happy? Then no, fuck you.

Lol, look at these two, stealthily creeping to leave roses for Latvia and somehow not noticing each other. I'd love a hack that allowed sneaking admirers to spot other admirers and attack them for cheating.

Maybe they could also attack other dates in progress, like this one with Luxembourg.

Is it another sample of penis?

What?
Latvia: What?
Luxembourg: What?

England: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!
Latvia: Wow, this is better than being at the movies.

Yeah, I guess interesting is one way of putting it!

Oh well, no time to mope about it, it's time for bachelor number 5, Slovenia!
Latvia: Hi.
Slovenia: Hi.
Belarus: Move, you fucking jerks, you're blocking the pavement.

For crying out loud, would it kill you to spend some time with your dates instead of your games console, Latvia? Wait, let me rephrase that. If you don't spend time with your dates, I will kill you.
Hey, have you ever read those sims stories where the authors don't always talk about how they plan to execute all the characters? They sound nice. You should read them.

Latvia: Sorry, what was that? I was on the phone with one of my six children. You remember them? The six children we had in two days?
I'm probably going to kill you on your honeymoon. :D

Speaking of murder, I haven't taken many pictures of the moochers because I've been making England cloud-watch/stargaze for about three days solid in the hope that he'll get flattened by a piano and without him to push around, France and Seychelles don't quite know what to do.

The various guests who invite themselves over know how to entertain themselves though - pool party!

And the update ends with an appearance from Lithuania! Hi Liet! Do you like the new place?
Lithuania: I'd probably like it more if I wasn't DEAD.

And the new challenge! Which should be interesting. Because thanks to him stealing from Lithuania's Elixir Of Life, the youngest person in the household is Latvia. Will he stay alive long enough to see his wedding? I hope so, because if he dies, I lose the challenge! And speaking of weddings, it's now time for that all-important question: who should Latvia marry?

I'll leave the poll open until Friday, 10pm-ish unless I forget. Which could happen. I should probably set an alarm.
ETA: The poll is now closed and any further votes will be ignored. Thank you for voting! :D

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