Boy/Girl Thing - Doctor Who
Jan. 2nd, 2008 09:18 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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randomsushiWhile investigating a crashed spaceship, Zoe plays with a mysterious machine and accidently turns Jamie into a girl.
“RUN!”
The two of them ran. Back through the metal corridors, towards the rusting, desolate section of the ship. The wails of Bob and Tracie died away as they scrambled through the breech in the hull and began running towards the TARDIS.
The innocent-looking blue telephone box had never looked so inviting. As soon as the Doctor had gotten the doors open, Jamie staggered inside and collapsed into a chair, utterly exhausted. It felt as though she had been running for hours. The Doctor operated the scanner controls and studied the landscape outside. “Good… it doesn’t look like they followed us…”
“Doctor, what’s going on?” Jamie interrupted. “The crew’s gone crazy, Captain Truman asked me to marry him and Zoe…” She stopped and blushed. “Well, she… she’s not right.”
“Oh dear, that’s not a good sign.” The Doctor looked worried. “Zoe’s definitely affected too?”
“Aye.” Jamie didn’t elaborate. “It’s that terrythingy machine, isn’t it?”
The Doctor nodded sadly. “You remember the chemicals we were talking about earlier?”
“The weird girl ones you wouldn’t tell me about?”
“Yes, those ones.” The Doctor fidgeted uncomfortably and looked at his shoes. “Well, it turns out that the machine has programmed everything it clones or alters to reproduce quickly, in order to colonise the planet faster.”
Jamie looked blankly at him. “What’s that got to do with me being chased around the ship for t’ past hour?”
“Er… well, the thing is…” The Doctor began to turn scarlet. “Er… you’re sending out chemicals that tell men you’re ready to…” He stopped talking and swallowed hard. “Um, readytohavebabies.”
“Ready to what?” The girl looked at him, totally confused.
The Doctor turned away. There was no way he could look at Jamie and say it without breaking into hysterical giggles. Not that it was funny, or course, it was horrifying. And most horrifying of all was that he knew he was beginning to be affected. Jamie had always been attractive, that went without saying. It was something he was happy to sit and appreciate from a distance. Or appreciate whenever the boy invaded his personal space. But now he was finding it harder and harder to look and not touch, like some deliciously mouth-watering forbidden candy with perfect boobs, standing in front of him in a kilt, waving a hand in front of his face and calling his name… “Bwah?!”
“Are y’ all right? Y’ were saying something.” Jamie asked, looking concerned and slightly apprehensive.
“I was?” The Doctor looked blankly up at her, then remembered. “Oh yes! Chemicals! You’re sending them out to signal that you’re ready to have babies.”
“I’m WHAT?!” Jamie clung on to the console to stop herself from crumbling to the floor in shock. “I’m no’ ready for a bairn! I’m a man!”
“Not right now you’re not,” the Doctor explained gently. “Your body is very much a woman.”
“I’m no’ having a bairn,” she said flatly. “And no wee chemicals are going to change that.”
The Doctor shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid the chemicals are getting stronger the longer you abstain. The longer you stay a woman, the worse it’s going to get. That’s why the men lost control. That’s why Zoe’s affected.” He hesitated, considering his words. “There is a very real danger that if you go back to that ship, you may not get a choice in the matter,” he said quietly.
Jamie gazed at the floor, looking very pale. “What do y’ suggest?” she asked in a small voice.
The Doctor frowned for a moment, deep in thought. The he smiled brightly. “I shall create an antidote,” he said happily, clapping his hands together. “Come along, lets get going.”
Jamie looked around, almost expecting some form of antidote to appear in midair. “Where?”
“To the lab, of course. You don’t expect me to whip up something here in the console room, do you?”
“There’s a lab on t’ TARDIS?”
“Oh yes, of course.” The Doctor stepped out of the console room and into the mazelike interior of the TARDIS. “There’s a swimming pool too. And a garden.” He glanced at Jamie with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “It might interest you to hear that there’s even a bath.”
“Oh aye?” Jamie suddenly frowned, realising the Doctor was teasing her. “Y’ know, you’re not a very nice man sometimes.”
“RUN!”
The two of them ran. Back through the metal corridors, towards the rusting, desolate section of the ship. The wails of Bob and Tracie died away as they scrambled through the breech in the hull and began running towards the TARDIS.
The innocent-looking blue telephone box had never looked so inviting. As soon as the Doctor had gotten the doors open, Jamie staggered inside and collapsed into a chair, utterly exhausted. It felt as though she had been running for hours. The Doctor operated the scanner controls and studied the landscape outside. “Good… it doesn’t look like they followed us…”
“Doctor, what’s going on?” Jamie interrupted. “The crew’s gone crazy, Captain Truman asked me to marry him and Zoe…” She stopped and blushed. “Well, she… she’s not right.”
“Oh dear, that’s not a good sign.” The Doctor looked worried. “Zoe’s definitely affected too?”
“Aye.” Jamie didn’t elaborate. “It’s that terrythingy machine, isn’t it?”
The Doctor nodded sadly. “You remember the chemicals we were talking about earlier?”
“The weird girl ones you wouldn’t tell me about?”
“Yes, those ones.” The Doctor fidgeted uncomfortably and looked at his shoes. “Well, it turns out that the machine has programmed everything it clones or alters to reproduce quickly, in order to colonise the planet faster.”
Jamie looked blankly at him. “What’s that got to do with me being chased around the ship for t’ past hour?”
“Er… well, the thing is…” The Doctor began to turn scarlet. “Er… you’re sending out chemicals that tell men you’re ready to…” He stopped talking and swallowed hard. “Um, readytohavebabies.”
“Ready to what?” The girl looked at him, totally confused.
The Doctor turned away. There was no way he could look at Jamie and say it without breaking into hysterical giggles. Not that it was funny, or course, it was horrifying. And most horrifying of all was that he knew he was beginning to be affected. Jamie had always been attractive, that went without saying. It was something he was happy to sit and appreciate from a distance. Or appreciate whenever the boy invaded his personal space. But now he was finding it harder and harder to look and not touch, like some deliciously mouth-watering forbidden candy with perfect boobs, standing in front of him in a kilt, waving a hand in front of his face and calling his name… “Bwah?!”
“Are y’ all right? Y’ were saying something.” Jamie asked, looking concerned and slightly apprehensive.
“I was?” The Doctor looked blankly up at her, then remembered. “Oh yes! Chemicals! You’re sending them out to signal that you’re ready to have babies.”
“I’m WHAT?!” Jamie clung on to the console to stop herself from crumbling to the floor in shock. “I’m no’ ready for a bairn! I’m a man!”
“Not right now you’re not,” the Doctor explained gently. “Your body is very much a woman.”
“I’m no’ having a bairn,” she said flatly. “And no wee chemicals are going to change that.”
The Doctor shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid the chemicals are getting stronger the longer you abstain. The longer you stay a woman, the worse it’s going to get. That’s why the men lost control. That’s why Zoe’s affected.” He hesitated, considering his words. “There is a very real danger that if you go back to that ship, you may not get a choice in the matter,” he said quietly.
Jamie gazed at the floor, looking very pale. “What do y’ suggest?” she asked in a small voice.
The Doctor frowned for a moment, deep in thought. The he smiled brightly. “I shall create an antidote,” he said happily, clapping his hands together. “Come along, lets get going.”
Jamie looked around, almost expecting some form of antidote to appear in midair. “Where?”
“To the lab, of course. You don’t expect me to whip up something here in the console room, do you?”
“There’s a lab on t’ TARDIS?”
“Oh yes, of course.” The Doctor stepped out of the console room and into the mazelike interior of the TARDIS. “There’s a swimming pool too. And a garden.” He glanced at Jamie with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “It might interest you to hear that there’s even a bath.”
“Oh aye?” Jamie suddenly frowned, realising the Doctor was teasing her. “Y’ know, you’re not a very nice man sometimes.”
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