Bodysnatchers - Doctor Who

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Written for the Second Doctor cliche ficathon for uktechgirl, who wanted "Jamie and Zoe bodyswap." So. They do.

“This is all your fault,” Jamie said as soon as they were outside.

“I know. And I’m sorry,” Zoe apologised.

“Aye. Well.” Jamie nibbled her lip thoughtfully. “This isn’t a good place t’ be a lass. Let’s switch back and go.”

The Doctor and Zoe exchanged glances. “Er… about that…” the Doctor said hesitantly. “It’s not actually here anymore. It’s been sent to another town for a presentation tomorrow. It’s all right, we know where,” he said hastily at Jamie’s growing look of horror. “It just means you’re both stuck as each other for a little while longer.”

Jamie pulled a face at Zoe. “I hate you.”

Zoe wisely ignored her. “Should we start making our way to Norham now, Doctor?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes. There’s a train station nearby that should get us there.” He patted his pockets down. “Money, money, money… ah, sonic screwdriver!”

“You can’t pay a train fare with that,” Zoe pointed out.

“No, but I can withdraw money from a cash machine with it,” he said cheerfully. “Not from here, obviously,” he added, glancing at the police station. “Come on.”

Ten minutes later, the trio were gathered around a cash machine in the Kork Railway Station.

“This is very wrong,” Zoe whispered in a mixture of awe and outrage as the Doctor ran the sonic screwdriver over the screen.

The Doctor grinned sheepishly and quickly pocketed a large handful of notes. “Desperate times, my dear Zoe. We don’t have time to walk there. Come on, let’s get some tickets.”

===

“This carriage smells funny. And it’s too hot,” Zoe complained a little later. “Can we move?”

“This is the only mixed carriage on the train,” the Doctor pointed out.

“All right, can I move?”

“No,” Jamie snapped. “If I have t’ suffer, so do ye.”

“I’d like to have you both where I can see you,” the Doctor said hastily. “So no.”

There was a moment of quiet, then Zoe spoke again. “It’s strange though, isn’t it, Doctor? This planet seems to be very advanced, technologically, but the women are treated like second class citizens. They’re not allowed in the Science City, they’re only allowed on this train with a man-“

“Aye, and another girl at the police station said she’d been arrested for going to a secret school,” Jamie added.

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“You can’t think that this sexism is all right-“ Zoe began.

“No, of course not!” the Doctor interrupted, appalled. “But it’ll all change soon. This is Callisto, 334.52,” he explained quietly. “I found that out at the Science City. According to history, next year, Tarrent Kline will be elected Prime Minister. He’ll change laws, allowing women to learn science and maths and get jobs. In ten years, the first female doctor will start work. Twenty, the first female physicist. In forty years, Dianella Gregg will be elected Prime Minister and in a hundred years, they look back to this time and wonder what they were thinking. If you like, we could come back in century and see how it’s all getting on,” he suggested.

“I’d rather not,” Jamie said quickly. “If they can swap brains now, who knows what they’ll be able to do then!”

“I don’t recall brain swapping being around,” the Doctor said with a slight frown. “Maybe the committee vote against it?”

“So… tomorrow could be our only chance to use it,” Zoe said slowly.

“Oh, not necessarily,” the Doctor said hastily. “It’ll probably go back to the Science City if it’s turned down, they wouldn’t destroy a piece of technology like that! No, don’t worry, we’ll get you two switched back to yourselves in no time. Now… how about a game of I-spy to pass the time?” he suggested cheerfully.

As Jamie and Zoe were unfamiliar with the planet’s wildlife and sights, the Doctor quickly won the games. Happily, before either companion realised he was making things up, the train pulled into Norham station and they disembarked.

“Right… let’s find out where the hotel is and book some rooms,” the Doctor said, leading his friends outside. “What was it called again?”

“Delphi,” Zoe said promptly. “That’s it, there.” He pointed across the busy road. Sure enough, the large, posh building opposite had “Delphi Hotel” written in gold script on a sign above the revolving door.

“Oh. Well, that’s splendid!” the Doctor grinned widely and led his companions across the road in inside.

The interior of the hotel was full of large oil paintings, velvet hangings and gold trimmings. It looked like an explosion in Elton John’s underwear drawer. Evidently, this was a hotel used to money.

Happily, the Doctor had pockets of the stuff. He strolled up to the front desk and smiled charmingly. “Hello, how much for a room or three?”

The clerk behind the desk eyed him with a mixture of horror and disgust. “I’m sorry sir. I don’t think we have any rooms available.”

“Oh.” The Doctor frowned, and then pulled a wad of notes out of his pocket. “Are you sure?”

The clerk hesitated. He glanced over at Zoe and Jamie, who smiled innocently back at him in an attempt to look normal. It worked. “Rooms are six thousands crowns a night, a suite is eleven thousand.”

“We’ll take… a suite for the night,” the Doctor decided after counting his cash. “Is breakfast included in the price?”

“Of course.” The clerk started tapping at a computer keyboard. “Breakfast is between six and eight in the morning. You’re in suite three-seventeen and your check-out time is nine tomorrow. Have a pleasant stay, sir.”

“Thank you.” The Doctor took the key card offered and strolled back to his companions. “Right. Shall we go and have something to eat or should we have a wander around, see if we can work out where this ethics conference will be held, hmm?”

“There’s a conference room on the fifth floor,” Jamie said, pointing to a sign on the wall “Won’t that be where it is?”

“Very well spotted,” the Doctor said happily, clapping his hands together. “All right, food it is then.” He spun around and strode towards the hotel restaurant, on the other side of the lobby and then suddenly stopped. Zoe and Jamie almost crashed into him. “Oh dear. Men only.”

“If the mixed one smells as bad as the train, I’m not hungry,” Zoe said immediately.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” the Doctor said hastily as Jamie glanced defiantly towards the restaurant. “And if it really is that bad, we can order room service.” He grabbed her arm and began steering her in the opposite direction before she could gatecrash.

Thankfully, the mixed restaurant smelled a lot better than the train. The three travellers stood in the doorway for a moment, watching the people inside.

“Looks like its self service,” Zoe said after a moment. He followed a middle-aged woman over to a counter and began helping himself to some purple leaves with red berries attached.

“What is this stuff?” Jamie asked, poking the berries with a spoon.

“Glaperies,” the Doctor said, leaning over her and taking a ladleful. “It’s like… a cross between tomatoes and grapes.”

“I’d rather have rabbit stew,” the girl muttered, wrinkling up her nose. She frowned suddenly and peered down the line. “Is it all vegetable stuff? Where’s the meat?”

“Maybe they don’t eat meat on this planet,” Zoe suggested.

Jamie looked blankly at him. “Why would y’ no eat meat?”

“I seem to recall that Callisto was famous for a pepper steak made from jippys. It’s like a cow. Only blue,” he added as his companions looked at him. “Perhaps it hasn’t been invented yet.”

“Or perhaps the lasses aren’t allowed it,” Jamie said with a scowl.

The Doctor nodded slowly. “Well, yes, that’s also a possibility. Look, why don’t you try those green things there? They taste lovely with a bit of gravy.”

Jamie pulled a face of disgust, but decided not to argue, finally deciding to try the green things, the blue thing and something orange cut into slices. They found an empty table and sat down to eat.

A pretty brunette approached them and indicated the seat next to Jamie. “Excuse me, would it be all right if I sat here?”

Jamie’s eyes widened in recognition. “Kerria!”

“You know her?” Zoe asked, interested.

Kerria sat down and nodded. “Yes. We met earlier. Kerria Kline.”

“Any relation to Tarrent Kline?” Zoe asked, recalling the Doctor’s brief history of things to come.

“He’s my husband,” Kerria confirmed.

“The Prime Minister?” Jamie asked.

“You mean he’s running for Prime Minister,” the Doctor corrected quickly.

“No, he’s the head of SMATA,” Kerria replied, looking slightly puzzled.

The Doctor paused with a fork of green leaves halfway to his mouth. “SMATA? So he’s here for the committee meeting tomorrow?”

Kerria nodded. “Is that what you’re here for as well?”

The Doctor nodded back eagerly. “Yes. Yes, indeed we are. But we, ah, seem to have left our… confirmation details behind. Would you be able to make sure we can get in?”

“It’s all right, you’ll still be on the guest list,” she said cheerfully.

“Right.” The Doctor opened his mouth and closed it again, looking thoughtful. “Do you know if Mr Jones is going to be there?”

“Do you mean Doctor Jones? Yes, he should be.”

The Doctor rubbed his hands together in glee. “Oh that’s marvellous. I’ve been wanting to talk to him about his new theory. Oh, are you two done done?” he added quickly, glancing at Jamie and Zoe’s plates. “We’d best be off then, goodbye my dear,” he said before they could protest.

“Who’s Doctor Jones?” Zoe asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

“I made him up,” the Doctor admitted, heading for the lift. “I hoped if I mentioned a name, she’d give me a real one. That way we can get into the conference. Assuming the real Doctor Jones doesn’t show up first, that is. Still, if we get an early night, we can be up bright and early and there first thing."