It's A Small World After All - Part Seventeen

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone! It's time for another update of It's A Small World, a 'you suck at parenting' challenge! Last time, France sucked up his pride and convinced England to sing karaoke. Bern and Seyland grew up badly, but not quite as badly as their big sister Switzerchelles, who skipped her teen years and fell in love with America, just when I thought my game could not get any more creepy. Oh, and Liechtenstein got pregnant. And then she died.



So we open this update with me trying to get France to haul his arse out of bed and save her again.


Hooray for ninja magic.
Grim: Bathroom again? Girl, if you want an amusing epitaph, there are better ways to go about it.


France: Please spare her! I'll ram my whole upper body through the wall!
Grim: OK, that's impressive, I'll give you a chance.


The annoying thing about Liechtenstein dying in bathrooms is that they just aren't built for screencapping in. I mean, look at how distorted Belgium is!
Belgium: Coach would be proud.


So fuck it, you can have some walls down while I capture this hot mess.
Grim: So you remember how it goes, right?
Switzerland: HEY LIECHTENSTEIN, I'M DANCING ON YOUR GRAVE!
France: Would you shut the hell up?! I'm trying to concentrate here!


Belgium: BOO HOO I'M SO SAD SHE'S DEAD!
France: Not any more! In your face, Grimmy, IN. YOUR. FACE!


Liechtenstein: I'm alive! And so's my baby!


In fact, the whole shock of dying and then not dying sends her straight into full-blown labour.



It's just one child, a little boy called Liechtenda. Because Canastein sounded like thrush cream.


So you may have noticed that there's been a distinct lack of dating in this challenge since France completed his LTW and devoted his life to helping the young 'uns to skill via influence and 'ask to join'. But that got tedious, and he had a want to date NyoEngland locked, so I let him do it. And in public too!
England: Oh this is such a magical place.
France: Yeah? And how would you like to see my magic wand?


France: That's it baby, polish my wand!
NyoFrance: Aww hell naw!
Mad France is cheating on you?
NyoFrance: I'm mad it's not me in there!
Oh yeah? Who with-actually, I don't want to know the answer.


France: Hey, all those magic wand jokes gave me a real neat idea!
Are you sure about that? I mean, let's check the other panel.


Hmm. Let's sleep on that one, shall we?


Canada: Hmm. Stinky baby... means feeding time.
How did you get this far in college without ending up on academic probation?



The next day, France no longer feared becoming a witch, so I let him drink one of my witchy-making potions.



And that right there is why I made witchy-potion-aspiration rewards. Goddam knowledge sims, wanting to be witches and then instantly wanting to be cured. And pretty much everyone else wanted him to be cured too.


UGH MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DAMMIT!


And then half the gang graduated. So I decided to celebrate by throwing a toga party! I invited all the nations France has ever met. Which should be fun because he's screwed about sixteen of them.
France: This sounds like an excellent plan, absolutely nothing could go wrong!


Dormie: You know, I've got the strangest feeling I'm being followed.


LET THE GAMES BEGIN!


Britannia: You see that guy behind me? He brought this snow.
America: It's not your job?
Britannia: No, snow drains me of all my powers. Six inches and I grind to a halt.
France: I can vouch for that.
Britannia: I meant six inches of snow!


France manages to behave himself long enough to sing a song with England...


...But he can't help but succumb to temptation in the end.


Oh Fra-ance! There's some people to see you!
France: Tell them to form a queue, I'll be there in a minute.
OK, they're queueing, but I don't think you'll like what they have to say.
France: Hmm? Why's that?



I just have this sneaking suspicion, that's all.


France: All right people, step right up, get in line, there's plenty of me to go round!
China: FUCK YOU, ARU.
France: Your wish is my command!
I don't think she meant it like that.


Belarus: I WILL PEE ON ALL THE THINGS YOU EAT.


Britannia: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.


Canada: Hey Belarus, you forgot to pee on his KNUCKLE SANDWICH.


ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.
France: What's going on?! This was supposed to be a party!
Well I'M having fun. :D


Meanwhile, Prussia's just chilling on the bubble blower, minding her own business, not even giving a fuck about smelly Bern. Although she might want to watch out for NyoEngland giving her evils there-


Too late.
England: YOU'RE JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND SUCK ON BUBBLES AFTER RUINING MY LIFE?!?
Prussia: Whoa, calm down, it was just some awesome sex. You can totally keep him now.
England: You- you- you- RRRAAAAAAGH!


France: Hey, you know what? I'd really like to be a wizard again.
Got a plan?
France: You betcha.



England: BEES! BEES IN MY HAIR! BEES UP MY SKIRT! AIEEEE!
You know what France? This is the BEST PLAN.
France: You ain't seen nothing yet.


Then Belarus launched herself at Prussia while I was watching England get attacked by bees.


Belarus: Ha! Take that, you boyfriend-stealing shit!
Turkey: WOO! GIRL ON GIRL!


Belarus: Hey, what's this?


France: Gurl, bye!



Canada: Buk buk buk buk!
France: Mwahahaha!


France: And for my final trick, I summon my spectral servant to beat up everyone who slapped me.



Japan: Help! Where do I hit it? It's got no face!



Are you kidding me? That was the BEST. PARTY. EVER!


And look at Hungary! SHE had fun-wait, what happened? Who did you do?!
Hungary: A lady never tells. But I'll give you a hint, it's not Canada.

In fact, you know what?




Still, after the excitement of that party, I make sure Liechtenda's birthday party is a nice, quiet, family affair.


And he grows up into that horrid pink tux. Is there some way to hide that thing so it doesn't show up on toddlers? Because I hate it.


I remember when these two first fell in hate with each other and I thought it was hilarious. Now it's just annoying.
England: YOU think it's annoying?! I have to live with it!
Switzerland: Yeah well, I have to live with YOU, so I guess none of us are gonna be happy!


England is definitely unhappy. I think this must be about the fiftieth time Switzerland has beaten him. I'm not kidding. I'm going to crack open SimPE at the end of this and count it up.


On the other hand, watching America sing and dance in his underwear will never get old.


Then sadly he stopped, put some clothes on and did this.


Son, I am disappoint.


He's not the only one singing all day though, now that France has burned his bridges in such a spectacular style, he has all day to spend trying to make sure Belgium has enough charisma to pass.


The rest of his days are spent playing strip chess.
Liechtenstein: I'm trying to get him to play it in reverse - every time I win, he needs to put some clothes on.


Seyland is doing well.


Liechtenda is doing... not so well. Terrible, actually. France, could you deal with that?


France: I'm trying, but he won't stop yelling.
Eh, just drop it on the floor. He'll get to it eventually.


I don't even know why I cap this any more. I guess because if I waiting until they stopped fighting, there'd be no pictures of them at all.


In one of the few moments when Liechtenda isn't busy starving himself to death while he sleeps, Switzerchelles reads him a story.
Switzerchelles: ...And that's how Nemo found his way back to the ocean.


I'd brought the telescopes in the hope that the nations would autonomously skill and let France do interesting things, but instead the children hog them and stare at trees.


England: Boohoohoo!
What's up with you? Run out of things to clean again?
England: Switzerland beat me up!
Oh, nothing interesting then, as you were.


And then joy of joys! Four of the nations are returning home, and Seychelles and Belgium have graduated! The end is nigh! But what of Liechtenstein and France, I pretend to hear you ask? Well, Liechtenstein's flunked so many times, she's still got another semester to get through. So I had France skip a final exam all so he could stick around and help her through the final term. Which is gonna happen next time, because earlier this week, my Windows died. Thankfully I was able to claw all of the saved game data and screencaps off it before having to reset the whole thing back to factory settings, but I'm going to spend the rest of the evening reinstalling my game, hunting down the camera mods and scripts I forgot to back up and generally getting it all working again. Until then!

Archive

Comments

[disownmereturns.livejournal.com]

Oho man, Canastein's an epic name X'DD And France! Here I am being absolutely careful that my romance aspirant sim's lovers don't meet and your France is just like YOLO :D

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Hee, it was such an enormous pain in the arse keeping France's lovers apart while he was trying to get his LTW. So when it was done, I decided an epic finding-out was needed. The only reason it wasn't even messier is because I had a mod that made Romance sims and Pleasure sims not care about cheating unless they're in a committed relationship!

[winterinverona.livejournal.com]

Nameable things are very lucky that I don't have any right now, because something would so get named "Switzerchelles".

It always makes my day when there's an update to this challenge. Everything is so well done, and the humor in the commentary is just perfect. (And that party was definitely the best!)

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Well at the end, you could always download your very own Switzerchelles. ^^ Glad you're enjoying it!

[lirenyi.livejournal.com]

[delurks]

This challenge is so much fun to read! You're a very entertaining commentator. :) Looking forward to more!

(By the way, last update I saw you say you don't know when pets age - it's 11am! :) )

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I shall keep a closer eye on pets now I know that, I was very cross that I'd managed to miss both pets dying.