It's A Small World After All - Part Two

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone! Welcome to Part Two of It's A Small World, a 'you suck at parenting' challenge. When we last saw France, he'd gone three days without fun or showers in order to drag bring up the toddlers, who all grew up. Badly. Oh, and England lost his job. I don't even.


Ahh, bless, look at this sweet, happy family portrait.



Of course, it's a complete crock. The children can't move for fingers in the chest, they constantly whine about their awful birthday and a green haze of stink floats around like a smelly fart cloud of DOOOOOOOOM.


What's a little poking between bros though?
Canada: I will shoot your glasses off you face and make you EAT THEM.
America: I'm having such fun!
Canada: EAT. THEM.


Belgium: Ugh, I am so bored!
Playground? TV? Beach? Toy box?
Belgium: That's way too much effort.


You could go haul your arse up to the wonderful, child friendly attic with Liechtenstein here and play catch. Doctor House will watch while the happy panties smile upon you!


Fuck toys, England will have fun cleaning even if he has to smash through the kichen cabinets to get the plates.


Belgium: Oooh, that sounds fab! Count me in!


So, while France catches up on his much-neglected beauty sleep, Liechtenstein decides to give cooking a chance.
Liechtenstein: I could swear I used to know how to make these.


Liechtenstein: Boy, making that muffin sure was hungry work. I sure could use something to eat here!


And finally France manages to find time to shower and watch TV.
France: I hate my life.


Canada learns a creative point from building castles in today's episode of 'Things I Never Knew Were Possible In This Game.'


Canada: Do de doo, just watchin' the waves.
England: Do de doo, just watchin' Canada.
He's behind you.
England: Who?


Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Naked Chef.


I'm sure there is enough food there for even America.


I leave it to you to decide if Iggy's appalled face here is from epic cheating or French Full Frontal Flash Attack.


So Belgium randomly decided she didn't like Liechtenstein. Maybe she tried to swipe a super duper fun plate out from under her nose or something. Whatever it is, Belgium is not impressed.


I will have the most creative household of children EVVVVVAR.


England: RAGECOCKARSEWANKFUCKBOLLOCKSBUGGER I HATE CHILDHOOD!


So there's not so much for France to do during the child phase other than cook, make sure the children go to school and learn to study. This pop-up makes America target number one for homework learning.


And just in time for the first day of school!


Which Belgium decides to skip.


In favour of dreaming about make-up.


A stereo is swiftly purchased in an attempt to get her to school on time, but it fails. Fine, whatever, she can tag along with France while he wanders community lots and tries to get laid.


And then the most wonderful thing happened. I clicked on the car to send them off somewhere and an option popped up to take Belgium to school. And bloody FRAPS didn't cap it! Sometimes it doesn't get pie menus, so all I had was a picture of the car. But yeah, instead of going to the park, Belgium got hauled to school instead.


And promptly pwned everyone else.


Everyone else: Ugh, teachers pet.
Belgium: Deal with it.


Switzerland, I have not given you a single command since you arrived. Stop whining at me.


Liechtenstein: Homework fills me with happiness. Soon, I too will have excellent grades like Belgium.
Belgium: SO MUCH PRESSURE UPON ME.


America and Seychelles neglect their homework in favour of beating the feathers out of each other. While Switzerland continues to complain about his choices.


Ew.


I guess I should be thankful he put the bowl in the dishwasher instead of attempting to clean it with his tongue.


And now America's fed and funned, so let's finish tackling those grades!
France: So, biology. The best way for me to teach you this is to rip off all my clothes and allow you to feast your eyes upon perfection! This also counts as art homework. :D
America: Um, I'm doing maths, but OK.


Maybe they're just really really glad they're not the ones doing homework outside with the naked man?


Hooray! Now hopefully he won't die in a fire before they can take care of themselves!


Two lots of homework? GET LEARNING.


Two down, five to go.


Belgium would much rather play Don't Wake The Llama, but as it's filled her happy bar, she's next up in the homework learning department.


I just like taking pictures of them all eating.


So, homework drained Belgium's fun bar, so she headed down to the beach.
Hmm.
Those sandcastles remind me of something...


Tee hee!


Heh, ahem. Sorry. So, uh, everyone else joins her on Boner Beach for a sandcastle building competition.


England: Sure do wish I could go swimming.
I'm not stopping you.


Just a cute picture of Switzerland and Liechtenstein playing nicely. Are you guys having fun?
Children: Yup!
Good.



'Cause it's homework time!
France: ...and that's how babies are made.
Switzerland: That's very fascinating. But it has nothing at all to do with plate tectonics, does it?
France: Hey, I just teach the really important stuff. The rest is up to your teachers.


I downloaded a bunch of custom food, so of course, I had to have France serve up croissants.


Can we have more homework? Yes we can.
Canada: Um...
France: Ugh, fine, what's your homework actually about?
Canada: It's biology-
France: Ah, excellent! OK! So, when a man and a woman love each other, or just really like the look of each other, they head for the nearest photobooth and blah blah woohoo blah blah Mrs Crumplebottom blah blah llamas...
Canada: Um, I'm actually learning about how animals have different ways of surviving through winter and... never mind.


Bored of the house now. Time for a family outing!


To the park!


Guys, there's a roller rink and a swimming pool here, just for starters, You can play cops and robbers at home.


You can fucking pillow fight at home too!


Liechtenstein's got the right idea. :D


Liechtenstein: Too... tired... to... swim... to... safety...
HOLY CRAP CHILD, GET OUT GET OUT RIGHT NOW!


And where's France while Liechtenstein's drowning? Naked in the hot springs, of course.


There's nowhere for her to nap at the park, so France drags them all back home for some more sandcastle building. Sigh.


Canada: Hey! Hey! Look at me! Watch this!
England: *looks at sand dune*
Belgium: Woo! You're so awesome!


Canada: *cartwheels*does not fall on face* I am so cool!
England: Who said that?
Belgium: You're amazing, America!


Ugh, where's my drama? Where's my chaos? Where's my fights? Look at France there, sleeping like a baby. He's taught half of them to do homework, they all play nicely together, they clean up after themselves... it's almost... dare I say it? Dull. D:


Russia tries to spice things up with some invisible newspaper theft, but I'm not feeling it.


So let's try something I've never done in the game before.


Let's say hi to Santa! :D

So! While we all wait for Christmas, both in game and in reality, I'll let you all have a sneaky preview of the progress I've made with Chibitalia. :D

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Comments

[sotnosen93.livejournal.com]

Canada's biology homework and France's explanation? WIN! And yay Christmas! I only buy expantions, not stuff, so I've never really seen it in action.

[sushigal007.livejournal.com]

Heh, biology is definitely France's favourite subject. It's very different in the Sims though!
I've had the stuff pack for a while now and never really played with it. I decided it's the right time of the year, teh children are being surprisingly well behaved, so let's give it a go. ^^